1. |
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One day you'll forget completely
While the earth slowly rotates under you
I knew you had given up long ago
Why were you still holding on
A ghost left to drift through familiar places
Like the faintest light filtering through that window
Moving across the floor, rehearsed like your words
I saw the burn marks from a previous chapter
And smelled the smoke that lingered in my clothes
Mundane items or places
Now occupied by an emptiness
I still look back to the world slowly dying that autumn
Forever mirrored inside you too
A beautiful and internal winter
Take one capsule a day, and melatonin at night
Keep a rhodonite stone for grief
I remember gazing at the night sky through a borrowed telescope
The only remainder of what wasn't discarded
Keepsakes, now debris, sent away like that letter
And now the space between each star seemed darker
No matter how bright they burned
Maybe God extinguished them with His breath
But it was probably the light pollution
I bathed in time from other worlds
The chill in the air just before a snow
The shiver in your core when you can't keep warm
The temperature on my phone read 44 degrees
And then I saw it, unadorned and modest
The nearest star to us, over four light-years away
The dim glow of a sun as it was, four years ago
Photons from a past life
I wondered if someone on a planet near that star had a much more powerful telescope
If they could point it here, right now
Would they see a past version of me
Lifting my grey eyes up towards them
Four years ago, before any of this ever happened
One day you'll forget completely
As the earth slowly rotates under us
One day you'll forget completely
No matter how bright
One day you'll forget completely
That there will always be this hollow
One day you'll forget completely
Like unlit space between stars
One day you'll forget completely
The moon still burns above me
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2. |
the weight of the stars
02:54
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The stars shone at intervals
As the clouds passed from over them
The dark pines rose before me
And every here and there a broken tree lay on the ground
It was a scene of wonderful solemnity
And stirred strange thoughts within me
I wept bitterly, and clasping my hands in agony, I exclaimed
Oh! Stars and clouds and winds, ye are all about to mock me
If ye really pity me, crush sensation and memory
Let me become as nought
But if not, depart, depart, and leave me in darkness
These were wild and miserable thoughts
But I cannot describe to you how
The eternal twinkling of the stars weighed upon me
And how I listened to every blast of wind
As if it were a dull ugly siroc
On its way to consume me
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3. |
minor planet
02:30
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Nearly half of the men
46 percent say they're embarrassed
To share their feelings about mental health
And this is significant, 49 percent admit
That they're feeling more depressed than they let on
You know men don't ask for directions
When they're lost either
It's a male quality of not wanting to get help
Go it alone, be brave
It's a noble male quality but sometimes it can get in your way
For the male population
Asking for help is part of the problem
Stigma affects all of our willingness
To ask for help
Because we've been taught to believe
There's something wrong with us
If we have a mental health concern
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4. |
your own hell
02:24
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And there will be no comfort for you
No comfort to ease the pain of his passing
He will come to death
An image of the splendor of the Kings of Men
In glory undimmed before the breaking of the world
But you, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt
As nightfall in winter that comes without a star
Here you will dwell
Bound to your grief
Under the fading trees
Until all the world is changed
And the long years of your life are utterly spent
There is nothing for you here
Only death
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5. |
I count you twice
02:17
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Does art make sense to you
You are so brave and quiet
I think you would understand
I had a dream that I was under my skin
Lost and wandering around my body
And in my mind there were pictures hanging on the wall
And they were of all the people I had ever loved
But in my heart there was only one picture frame
And it took up nearly every space
A single frame of you
Why do people tell others what they deserve
But never themselves
Stop acting like you aren't enough
Because you are
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6. |
cold light
02:37
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The night is come, but not too soon
And sinking silently
All silently, the little moon
Drops down behind the sky
There is no light in earth or heaven
But the cold light of stars
And the first watch of night is given
To the red planet Mars
And earnest thoughts within me rise
When I behold afar
Suspended in the evening skies
The shield of that red star
O star of strength, I see thee stand
And smile upon my pain
Thou beckonest with thy mailed hand
And I am strong again
Within my breast there is no light
But the cold light of stars
I give the first watch of the night
To the red planet Mars
The star of the unconquered will
He rises in my breast
Serene, and resolute, and still
And calm, and self-possessed
And thou, too, whosoe'er thou art
That readest this brief psalm
As one by one thy hopes depart
Be resolute and calm
O fear not in a world like this
And thou shalt know erelong
Know how sublime a thing it is
To suffer and be strong
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7. |
ikigai
01:55
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Anybody who makes music
Is super brave
And anybody willing to express themselves
And share, like I said, that little bit
That little piece of themselves
With the whole entire world
I'd like to share my vision
With people who can't see what I see, the way I see
Yes but why
Because my vision is closer to the reality of the world
I can make people feel what it's like to be alive
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8. |
housefire
03:35
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Nowadays, the anger is like this clean, blazing fire
That I can feel
I'm not so ashamed of it
I'm very wary and respectful of it
I don't want to burn others
I don't want to burn myself
And there's definitely been a cooling of it in some way
I've tempered it through a lens of compassion
And realizing that people do damage
When they have been damaged
People cause suffering when they are suffering
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9. |
the pull of gravity
01:44
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We used to look up at the sky and wonder
At our place in the stars
Now we just look down
And worry about our place in the dirt
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10. |
exhalation
02:50
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The universe began as an enormous breath being held
Who knows why, but whatever the reason, I'm glad it did
Because I owe my existence to that fact
All my desires and ruminations are no more and no less
Than eddy currents generated by the gradual exhalation of our universe
And until this great exhalation is finished
My thoughts live on
I've devoted my life to studying the wondrous mechanism that is the universe
And doing so has given me a sense of fulfillment
I've always assumed that this meant
That I was acting in accordance with your will, Lord
And your reason for making me
But if it's in fact true that you have no purpose in mind for me
Then that sense of fulfillment has arisen solely from within myself
What that demonstrates to me
Is that we as humans are capable of creating meaning for our own lives
Past and future are the same
And we cannot change either
Only know them more fully
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11. |
re ; little moon
02:12
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Every time you see the moon reflect
In someone else's eyes
Whenever you find yourself
Driving through a neighborhood full of mansions
Just to plan out your dream life
I hope you think of me
Cause I remember waking up next to you
And they way the sunlight would hit your face
And the floating dust speckled around you
I just wanted to drown in your presence
You were just a beautiful still and moving world
Time seemed to slow down whenever you were near me
If you've ever been in a car accident
Or near death experience
You know what I mean
It's a beautiful bliss where time stops
And you're shown your life
All the bad choices that lead you to this moment
In a weird way you're kind of the reason I don't
Regret anything in life
Whenever you look at your wrist
I hope you think of me
And everything that we used to be
I hope you think of me forever
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everything persists Charlotte, North Carolina
guitar/producer/graphics
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